In my head...

OMG! I'M SEEING YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN ON BROADWAY THIS WEDNESDAY!!!!

You just don't understand. I have been waiting for this since it was announced and now I get to SEE it. Roger Bart, Sutton Foster, Megan Mullaly, Andrea Martin, AND Chris Fitzgerald? All on one stage? To a Mel Brooks iconic story? Pinch me.

This is purely an exercise for me. I'm not sure anyone reads this since the update thing NEVER happens, but I need to put a few things out in the great void.

Everyone in the great world has a problem that makes their life imperfect. And everyone's problems vary in degrees of difficulty. I can no longer pretend that I am ok to appease the masses. I am NOT ok. I have not been ok for a while now. I'm tired of being everyone's therapist and getting nothing back in return. It's as if asking how I am on a day to day basis would cause bodily harm. I have good days and I have bad, and sometimes I feel like maybe I'm turning my problems into something bigger than I should, but you know what? They are a big deal because they are mine. Just like anyone else's. I'm done trying to push aside what I feel for the greater good. I've done it my entire life and I'm sick and tired of it. I deserve to have bad days. I deserve to cry. And I deserve to wallow in my lot in life because in my degree of difficulty, life really sucks right now. And since I have listened to everyone else, it's their turn to listen to me.

It's snowing in south carolina. Wheeee! It's only a few inches, but it's still the south and we are in no way equipped for even the slightest bit of snow, therefore the world has shut down. Not that I am complaining. I love snow. It's so pretty and clean looking. And I'm all surrounded by trees, and everything is perfect right now. I plan on galavanting around in said snow before the days is done. Until then, I am content to curl up in my fleece pjs and watch. It always amazes me how everything seems so quiet and peaceful, as if I'm the only person around for miles. Anywho...

In other news, I was listening to NPR yesterday and they were doing a report on how California wants to be the top state for the primary elections. Because according to snooty california election people they should be first before New Hampshire, and Iowa. To that I must say, NO. New Hampshire will always be the jumping off point for the primaries. Josh went to Nashua because that's whats sons do for old friends of their fathers. The end. Period.

I nver update this thing, but I don't feel like the only one. Life happens and it really sucks. Not much has been going on, however. It's finally cold. About damn time. We even had sleet. It just pisses me off that it gets warmer and warmer, and no one seems to get that it's because we are killing the environment. My dad is currently in spokane, wa for business and I am so jealous. He's got snow and rain and highs of 20 degrees. So not fair. Of course he's pissed since he's all pro the sun.

Let's see, in other news...Christmas and birthday came and went, which I am eternally grateful for. I hate Christmas and I hate my birthday just as much. If you ever have the option of working at a mall during the holidays I would like to suggest that you don't do it, because I did and became the angriest person alive.

Now that it is January, I've become incredibly lethargic and unable to motivate myself. I don't understand why you have to start a brand new year right after the holidays. All of December is spent stressing over family, gifts, money, food, and then you have to try to wipe the slate clean a week later and become this 'insert your own resolution here' type person. I need a vacation from vacation. Why can't we be like the Chinese and celebrate the new year a little later? What's wrong with saying "I just spent 2 weeks in retail/family hell and I would like to not feel like a failure for not wanting to exercise and diet immediately." What's difficult about that?

I do hope that everyone had a good holiday/new year. I got into a wreck on new year's day, which accounts for a lot of my "clean slate" bitterness. Nothing major, and we didn't even deal with insurance, but it was my fault cause my breaks suck, and I went with the guy to a body shop and paid to have his bumper fixed. $150. Meh.

I am looking toward taking the GRE for grad school. I hate taking tests. I'm really bad at it. But I have to do it, so there's that. I even got off my ass today and went to my alumni and requested transcripts. go me. I've started looking intently at George Mason University. Which, I need to pose the question to cantbesilent...Is that a good school? I mean, I've been a frequent visitor of the website and talk to the administration people and the department heads, so that's been nice, but overall, is it worth it?

I would have to move to DC, which is fine since I still want to move to DC. I think I could be a much happier person if I were to go back to school. GMU seems to have everything I'm looking for including a master's degree in art history. I need to talk to my cousin about a living situation, since she is living in capitol hill. I have no idea how they handle the out-of-state requirements since the dc/va/md area are all separate districts and states.

I'm finally gonna see Dreamgirls tonight. I can't believe that my musical ass hasn't been. And as for musicals, I will probably be doing summer theatre again this year. Except the line up really sucks. South Pacific, Thoroughly Modern Millie (the only good one), Seussical (WTF?), and Children of Eden. And that's all I've got to say about that. Nothing really interesting going on, but I guess that's better than the extreme drama that takes up residency in my life.

Today is one of the most glorious days I have ever experienced in my political life. Rumsfeld out and my Dems in! It makes my hear feel all aflutter. I am such a political fangirl whore, but I just am in love with my country today. Which is a change from all the guilt I used to feel for being an American. Funny how the winds of change can blow a little pride my way. Watch out 2008, here we come! SQUEE!

I'm officially pissed. Some girl just got prize on Letterman for reciting all the countries in the world in 60 seconds. And how did she do it? She sang the Animaniacs Nations of the World song. I could do that. AND I could do the US states and their capitals. Using a song is cheating. Whatever.

So, I watched the Emmys tonight because the Emmys used to be a ZOMG event. I mean Conan was hosting, and there was to be Bradley Whitford/Matthew Perry squeeing. I had to watch.

But half-way through the show I noticed an interesting tidbit. I don't watch televistion anymore. At. All. I've become everything I despise. TV used to pwn me. I had my schedule set. Even in college when tv was used as a procrastination device. I always had it on. I can't remember the last time I turned on the tv in my bedroom. It's got lots of dust on it if that's any indication. Probably 3/4 of the shows nominated, I had never heard of and then there were the shows that didn't get nominated that everyone seems to be bitching about on the pre-show.

I mean, I'm not a "I don't watch tv" elitist. I hate those people. But, I do go to work at 7:30 every morning. Then, go to rehearsal for whatever musical theatre production I'm currently in, or go teach dance, or go take dance. All these things add up to me never being home, so I have no idea that tv exists. And quite frankly I don't think they're writing good shows anymore. Grey's Anatomy? Hate it. Desperate Housewives? Tried it twice and hated it. Lost? Boring. 24? Too much of a commitment. And the rest is just a hodge-podge of WTF?/You can't be serious.

So, tv people. Write. Better. Shows. Like, I don't know *cough*Studio 60*cough*. Yeah, I will be watching that. And until then, my favorite tv shows will remain the shows of the past. Friends, The West Wing, The X-Files and Frasier. Thank god for DVDs.

So, I'm trying to change my layout colors, which means you must ignore the random changes, but is there anyone who knows how to add a header pic? I'm making one myself, but I have no idea how to put it in. Help?

Ok, so I'm sitting here, snacking on a del monte fruit cup before rehersal tonight, and I'm struck by something odd. The cherries. When I was little I ate the fruit cups all the time. They would always be inserted into lunch bags, pic-nic baskets, afternoon snacks, but my mother never bought the ones with the cherries. I knew they existed cause my friends got cherries in their fruit cup, but me, not so much. She would even let me pick them out at the grocery store with the stipulation of "no cherries." What's wrong with the cherries? Do they have less nutritional value? I mean it's not like the pears, grapes, and peaches soaked in sugar syrup get points for their uber-nutrition.

Of course now, when I shop, I pick the ones with the cherries, and save them for last. So, I pose this question to the great LJ void. What did cherries ever do to my mother?

Stealing this meme from mon_aimee because it's cool looking and I'm bored.

I'm also discovering that I need to upload my new mood theme and fix my layout...and, you know, update with pertinent information ;p



The Soundtrack to Your Life:
So, here's how it works:
Open your music player (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
Put it on shuffle.
Press play.
For every question type the song that's on.
When you go to a new question press the next button.
Ready? GO!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Opening Credits: "She Get it from Her Mama" - Juvenille

Waking Up: "Across the Universe" - Rufus Wainwright

Falling in Love: "Fade Into You" - Mazy Star

Fight scene: "Can't Hold Us Down" - Christina Aguilera and Lil' Kim

Breaking up: "Bedshaped" - Keane

Getting back together: "One Fine Day" - Natalie Merchant

Secret Love: "I Really Want You" - James Blunt

Life's okay: "Get Low" - Yin Yang Twins Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boyz

Mental breakdown: "Wreck of the Day" *snort* - Anna Nalick

Driving: "Fatty Girl" - LL Cool J and Ludacris

Flashback: "Mona Lisas and Madhatters" - Elton John

Partying: "Holidae Inn" - Chingy and Snoop

Happy dance: "Lolita" - Prince

Regretting: "Across the Ocean" - Azure Ray

Long night alone: "Wrong Impression" - Natalie Imbruglia

Death scene: "Love is a Battlefield" - Pat Benetar

Ending credits: "Fame" - Irene Cara

Yay! Fun, and freaky at times.

Yeah, yeah. So it's been ages. I haven't talked to like ANY of you people in months. That's my bad. I could say that I've been busy (which I have), but honestly I just haven't felt like it. There has been nothing of interest going on in my life. Or more like there has been a lot going on, but nothing that excites me. I've just been mechanical. I work, I dance, I sleep, I eat. I'm exhausted with life right now. And here I am at my busiest, and NOW I want to update. Go figure.

This is the time of year that I have to make "to do lists" everyday because if I get slightly off schedule than I am monumentally fucked. My job at Ann Taylor Loft SUCKS, but I'll be looking for better opportunities when I get done with the summer. I'm still teaching dance (we have rehersal/recital in 3 days) and I got offered a contract with summer theatre this year, so I'll be doing 2 musicals (Parade, and 42nd Street, woot!). The only problem is I haven't had a day off in 10 days, and don't really get one off for another 2 weeks, so needless to say I am ridiculously stressed.

I kinda want to have a summer. You know, weekends off. A week at the beach. Everyone got to do pool things this weekend and I was stuck selling clothes to people who already have enough clothes to wardrobe a small country. I need a vacation. I haven't really relaxed in about 4 years. I've been to NYC, or DC but it's been more touristy/shopping/almost moving trips. I live 2 1/2 hours away from the ocean, yet I can never get there. That's crazy.

And I'm tired of everyone trying to stress me out. You know how some people NEED stress to function? Like they thrive on stressful situtations so they can all have a common ground to bitch about. I used to be one of those people. Yes, I have a show this weekend, and yes, nothing is finished, but me stressing is not making things better so why bother? Too bad no one else gets that. All I hear is spazzspazzspazzEMILYspazzspazzHELPMEomgi'msostressedfixitemily! STOP. IT.

I can't make it better. I can't make a 40 something woman have a good attitude. I can't make the middle schoolers remember what time they have to come to class. I can't make the clients apply for a freaking credit card. (None of this makes sense, but I had to get it out. K, thanks)

I'm just slightly on edge, and I have no one to help me out. I just wish I had someone. Oh, and the boyfriend is history. It was mutual but still sucks. He would do things like go to the post office for me, or bring me food when I was teaching. Little things that just made life easier. There was that episode of Gilmore Girls (before all the shit of this season, don't even get me started on Luke's kid), The Incredible Shrinking Lorelai's from season four. Lorelai just kinda broke down in the park on Luke's shoulder, and told him that she just wanted a partner. Someone to help lighten the load. That's how I feel. I know I CAN do it by myself, but I'm so tired of trying. I just want someone to say, "Here Emily, let me help."

*le sigh*

This has mostly been me complaining to people who probably don't care, so yeah. I know you care, but I've been absent, and un-friend like and I'm sorry. I still love you all, and miss you. *hugs*

Wellll, I got myspace. Yep. I don't know how it happened. One day I was making fun of it, but now I've got it. And it's quite obsessive. Looking at other people's profiles and laughing. Not to mention the random highschool friends I keep finding. If anyone else has fallen into the trap feel free to friend me. http://www.myspace.com/oldbacon

Yeah, so I stole this from mon_aimee, and it's not pertinent to anything, except the fact that I like to fill things out. What? You all know I'm nth degree OCD, anyway.

( i like tv in the fandom sense. )

Last night I had a dream about Carby. I haven't done THAT in a while. And yes, I dream about my fandoms. Details are fuzzy in the morning light, but basically Carter came back and apologized, and there were wooks, and all was right with the world. No Abby pregnancy, or Carter is an ass story lines. Because I'm all about the non-canon, even when I dream. Ha! Take that canon-pushing freaks!

And since today is the day of my people...HAPPY SAINT PATRICK's DAY! I'm sooo drinking tonight.

Graduate School. Yep. Found the school. University of South Carolina. Go Gamecocks. Actually, I'm really excited. It's a great school and I don't know why I never thought of it. I was always looking in Charlotte since I'm like 15 minutes away from there, but Hello? Charlotte is in NORTH CAROLINA. OUT. OF. STATE. Do you have money, Emily? No. So why not look to your state's capital, which is only an hour away from your house. An hour commute to Columbia isn't bad at all. I've already decided that I can do a Tuesday/Thursday session or something like that, and I meet all of the admissions qualifications. Just gotta take the GRE, and my GRE study book is being shipped as we speak. I'm so on the ball, and finally feel like I have purpose in life and a goal to look forward to, except...

WHAT THE HELL DO I STUDY? Who knew that USC would have not only a masters in art history, but also one in political science? And they are BOTH accredited. From a great school. Who'd a thunk it. Problem is neither degree guarantees me a great job. I mean, I want to get my Phd, so THAT will get me a great job, but sometimes I wish I really wanted to be an accountant. Or, I don't know, what if I was good at math and science? Then, I could be super rich business girl, or brilliant economist lady. Meh.

So, knowing that I'm NOT good at math and science, but I do have an BA in Art History and a minor in Poly Sci, and an unbelievable love for all things art and all things political, what should I do? Thoughts/suggestions would be helpful, from like the five friends that I have on LJ. Damn, no offense to the five of you, but I should really network this place, cause five friends is sad.

I hate warmth. When the warmth of spring invades, the creatures come out in full force. Now, considering I live in the woods, I'm used to this phenomenon. However, it doesn't make it less annoying.

Being the do-gooder that I am, I noticed a tiny little wolf spider that had found himself on the wrong side of the window pane, aka: my room. So, I try to help the little bugger. Shove him out, if you will. But no. He doesn't want to go out. Maybe he hates the heat as well, but he can't hibernate in my room. While, attempting to shove said spider (named Winston) out of the room. Three, count 'em THREE, wasps decided to invade. Fuck the wasps. They're unnatural looking, with the burnt umber color, and droopy back legs, and general unattractive-ness. And now they're in my room. Hovering. Then I realize that there is a NEST right above my window. GOD. DAMMIT. So, for the past hour I have been trying to round up three loose wasps, while making sure no more get in. Nevermind the fact that Winston became frightened by all the commotion, and had disappeared. I'm tellin' ya, it was a true battle of wits until I found the wasp/insect bug spray. Of course I will not be able to sleep in my room tonight, because of chemical spray overload, but the three wasps are now dead (sprayed until incapacitated, then squished and dissected) and the nest has been destroyed, too. I win at life. And wasps do not. As for Winston, the fucker, I'd rather find him in bed with me later in the week, than attempt to save him again. He'll probably end up dead from the fumes. Tsk, Tsk. Should've never came in that window crack.

Pointless entry, but I figured starfishmedley would appreciate knowing that there are at least three less wasps in the world that she has to contend with. That is all.

I have finally discovered the key to dieting. Grapefruit and sugar. I've been on this kick for about 3 weeks, and thank god, I'm beginning to see results. Not that I was fat, but I was having the issue of being very squishy where muscle used to be. Now, I've become crazy get-me-away-from-the-treadmill-girl. I can't seem to stop running and doing ab crunches. There is something to be said with waking up in the morning and feeling a burn from a particular muscle group. I really like it. And then I worry when the burn goes away because I'm afraid that I'm not doing something right. So of course, I end up over doing it. I'm such a masochist. People like me should never be allowed to exercise.

On another note, I have a job. I'm a sales associate at Ann Taylor Loft. Go me. I'll make shit for money, but my discount is 40%. Woot. Plus, it's at South Park Mall, which won't make sense to anyone except for mon_aimee, but let's just say there will be no more rednecks to deal with. Also, I really want to go back to school, but have absolutely NO idea what to study. If anyone has a suggestion, feel free to let me know. Maybe I can do a poll since I'm all "paid LJ user". Oh, and I am so going to be doing '42nd Street' this summer. Don't know what part, but yay for lot's o' tapping.

And finally. Don't smoke. Really. This woman I worked with died Monday of lung cancer (which is strange considering Superman's widow died the same day of the same type of cancer). Of course the woman I knew smoked like a chimney. She was only 40 years old, and she had only been diagnosed in July of '05. So, don't smoke. And that's all for Emily's public service announcement.

Hillary Clinton was in Charlotte today. Well, technically Lake Wyle. And my mom and I totally stalked the whole Lake Wyle area until we found out where she was. And then we stood outside just to be able to say that we were close to her. And then we saw her leave. And there was squeeing. Because we are Clinton whores. And also pretty dorky. The End.

Hokai, I know this is completely redundant to you all, but I have to get this out of me system...

If you thinK you're going to win the race, you've got another thinK coming. = CORRECT

If you thinK you're going to win the race, you've got another thinG coming. = SO WRONG IT MAKES ME WANT TO SHOOT YOU!

Another THING coming? Seriously? As in some indescribable random floating something that could be coming to you? Annucitation is the key people! Do it, Goddammit!!!kjdlakdjfal111!!

I now have a paid account to LJ. I never saw it coming, but then all the pretty userpics that I could have, and wellllll...

So now the question is, how do I make my LJ so pretty? I want backgrounds, and mood themes, and colors. I tried to do it myself, but there is all of this
lEsdj<*je @2> shit that I have no idea what is going on. So if anyone can point me in the right direction, I would love you forever.

*le sigh*